Have You Ever Lost
Your Sense of Self Around Family and Friends?
4 Ways to Stop Reverting to the ‘Old You’
If you said ‘yes,’ guess what? You aren’t alone. Stop Reverting
In your day-to-day life, you’ve got it all together. Capable, competent, living your life – then you walk through the door into a family gathering and BAM! you’re 15 again – whatever you ’15’ was.
Maybe you were the troublemaker or the navigator. Maybe you were seen as controlling or too sensitive.
Whatever the label, you walk through the door and there it is plaster on your shirt.
Like I said, you aren’t alone. Reverting or losing our footing when we step into family (or friend) dynamics is really common. I hear it from clients all the time – something along the lines of, ‘I don’t even know who that person is anymore, yet there she was!’ One of the energetics that leads to this dynamic is that people in our lives hold pictures of who they think we are, or of who we used to be.
Your mother may see you as the little girl she felt responsible for, or your best friend may see you as the one who never had it together. We can step into those pictures, and that’s when we revert, or we can stand in the truth of who we are today.
Think of how much you have grown and the change that comes with that. You aren’t the person you were years ago and not even the person you were yesterday. We are always growing and shifting.
When someone holds a picture of who you used to be, they can’t see you for who you are today. It’s not our job to get them to see us (that can be a hopeless battle that will take you further out of your truth) but it is our opportunity to stand in the truth of who we are.
Here are a few tips and energy tricks to try as you navigate your holiday season
PREPARE! I can’t say this enough. If you know your mother or your brother or your high school friend are forever bringing up some old dynamic, prepare. Know in advance what you want to say that will turn the conversation and shut down the dynamic. (Then see Neutrality below)
DON’T ENGAGE THE ENERGY Find, stay in and then return to (when you get pulled out) neutrality. Neutrality is one of the core tools of my AWAKEN METHOD and the gift that keeps on giving. Neutrality is the ability to ‘not engage’ the energy. If you don’t have the tool yet, think of it this way – pull all of your energy and focus behind your eyes and then keep your focus there.
VALIDATE YOURSELF Learning to validate yourself is like creating ultimate freedom. When you know longer need someone to approve of you, or see you in order to feel good about yourself, you are free. Spend some time thinking about what it is that you want from the people in your life – do you want them to acknowledge your successes? Acknowledge them for yourself. Or maybe to celebrate your life? Celebrate it for yourself. Sometimes the people in our life can’t, won’t or don’t see us; can’t, won’t or don’t celebrate us and we can spend all of our time and energy trying to get them too. Stop because all your doing is giving your energy away to them. Celebrate yourself.
AMUSEMENT As you head into any holiday gathering or outing, fill yourself in with the energy of Amusement. Amusement is one of the highest vibrations we can hold and when we fill ourselves in with it, challenges don’t seem as challenging.
Just remember, with conscious awareness we have the choice as to whether or not we step back into the pictures that others carry about us. They can hold the pictures, but we don’t have to match them.
I hope these tips and tricks help you navigate and I wish you a joyous Holiday season!